The Creepiest Ads on Kijiji Montreal:
Kijiji is a very popular online advertising service in Canada, where you can find virtually everything: a new job, a room for rent, furniture, etc and where you can also buy and sell stuff privately. Though some of the Kijiji ads are quite impressive, others are plain weird that they drive you to scratch your head and say ‘huh?’
Once visiting Kijiji Montreal, you’ll notice that some ads run counter to the ‘traditional’ and start looking weirder than ever!
For the sake of fun, we decided to gather a bunch of Kijiji community’s creepiest listings that you might have missed. These are just the most bizarre Kijiji ads ever. They are in French, so we translated them into English for our English-speaking audience. Check them out below!
Please note that ads might be changed or removed at any time.
1- A vintage coat for ‘sensitive’ poets :
If you are from Quebec and belong to the Proletariat and ‘the young voice of a frustrated generation’, then, this ad is for you! This guy, who seems to be vehemently influenced by Marxism, contend that spring is the perfect time for riding on the snow and finding new groups of Indians, trying organic products and mating for the posterity of your ‘kind’. Yet, he is ultimately concerned that you might get cold in the meantime. Accordingly, he suggests a solution for this ‘transitional period’. This hipster-style vintage coat has the most exceptional features: the colours are green and purple; the size is small and proudly features the Snap-On logo.
He also went to claim that this unique style stands for independent thinking and counter-culture. And so by buying and wearing this $40 masterpiece (excavated from underground), you, by default, deny all means of crypto-fascist oppression, find yourself capable of shaking the regime and fight against the 2%.
There is only 1 in stock! So hurry up and get the one.
2- Rocks to be given for free:
This guy offers a bunch of weighty rocks for free. He says they are cool for those who are interested in collecting rocks, pyramid building, making a fire pit, painting on them and reselling them or for chest-to-bar workouts. You can also show your neighbours that your rocks remained quite robust and resistant for a long while.
Please note that the owner won’t help you to load them in your trunk. You have to have some help from elsewhere!
3- It is not rubbish! It is an old but gold Mazda:
Here are the top reasons why you need to buy this car:
ü The 8 tires are worn
ü The windscreen is completely cracked, not just a little bit (just saying!).
ü The valve cover is leaking. The owner has absolutely no clue what that is but it just happens!
ü Interior window cranks no longer exist.
ü The rust is quietly taking charge of damaging the car.
ü You have no air conditioning
ü The windshield wipers are working on a part-time job. They just function when it’s sunny!
Now why should NOT buy this job is because:
o The distance this car has travelled is around 187000KM. This is not bad for a 20 year old car!
o The engine sound is not yet deafening.
o Sitting on hatchback would be great to take nice car photos.
o The manual transmission is still holding up.
o The leather covered benches of the car dates back to the 90s!
The owner knows that all you think about this car is that it’s a garbage can with 4 wheels. Yet, it is a gold weighing Mazda!
He has all the bills that he paid during the last 3 years to show you, dear customer, the affection of love that he gave to his car. That’s why you have to think twice before buying this $600 car. Of course you cannot come with $300, dude! No!
4- In search for a kitchen roommate!
This young guy, who works out a lot, has no time for kitchen. So he is looking for a young girl, aged between 18 and 28, reliable, loyal and needs FREE housing! He is a 32 yea- old guy who works full-time and (again) works out 5 times per week! He is chill, cool and easy going! Remember, he’ll be generously offering you free housing, girl!
Please note that you have to accord your reply with a picture of yours and to mention you age, cell phone number with a brief description of your personality.
5- Snow white to be given for Free!
This is an incredible free offer of snow white that is practically new and has never been used in summer. It is also ideal for making a snowman of good quality, and for fans of snow blowers.
Delivery is not included, though!
6- A magic hat for sale:
You want magic, don’t you? This publisher strongly believes that you do need it to transform your outlooks!
If you don’t have hair, just wear this hat. You never know what might happen! Also, if you’re cold, this hat will warm you up! If you are seeking to flee some people, this hat guarantees you that they will never recognize you! And with this you’ll gain more attention, man!
This hat is for unique exceptional men who seek the pleasure of ladies! This not for fun! It also gives you access to such attractiveness that the publisher won’t let you know about it. You have to discover it yourself. So, hurry up before it runs out of stock.
7- A bed for sale, URGENTLY!!
This is a nice bicentenary bed. Yet, it is haunted by an evil spirit! The publisher says that some people are more sensitive than others in case of contact with the ‘spirits’. Unfortunately, this is the case with him that’s why he also sold a massage parlour in Quebec: le Milady. Maybe this will appease the torment of these spirits, the publisher says.
8- A Lise Waltier perfume for sale!
This guy says that he wants to sell his girlfriend’s perfume because, as soon as he smelled it, he swiftly confessed to her that he had gone to bed with other girls who smelled like that.
His girlfriend has bought this perfume with $85 and he wants to get rid of it only for $60.
Men, this is an ideal gift but please “DO KEEP YOU MOUTHS SHUT”.
9- If you want to lose your driving licence, this ad if for you!
This ad is for people who want to lose their driving licences, tangle themselves in thousands of dollar bills, detentions or fines, and drive faster than 300km/h. This will also make girls love you and your fellow men envy you!
Please note that after two years, you’ll find yourself caught in the trap of a girl and your baby is coming. In that case, you’ll have to sell your racer to afford buying diapers.
The publisher says that the price can be negotiated because the baby is coming soon, and advices you to kindly think about it carefully.